Whatever you focus on, you will become – If you focus on failure, you will fail.  If you focus on success you will succeed.  If you focus on what you can do, the things you can’t do won’t be that important.

 Focus on what you can do – not what you can’t

Too often the troubles of the day distract us, keeping us focused on all the things we can’t do. When that happens, we are unable to see options, possibilities, ways to overcome – and we get mired in the muck of life.

When we stay focused on all the things that are wrong, our mindsets gradually change from, “I can do this” to “I can’t do this. What’s the use of trying – it won’t make a difference anyway.”

Attainable Goals

As we enter the New Year, turn your wishes and resolutions into attainable goals. All too often, however, we start with great enthusiasm and motivation and then slip back into old patterns and habits that are comfortable and less challenging. and rationalize why we didn’t make the changes we wanted.

Remaining Motivated

• Break down long term big goals into small attainable goals
• Why is this goal important?  Make a list of benefits. Remind yourself of them every day
• Write a goal statement that defines exactly what you want to accomplish and why
• What are the costs involved in terms of time, effort, sacrifice and finances
• Are you prepared to work on this goal knowing the costs involved?
• Write and sign a statement of commitment
• Evaluate all obstacles and find ways to overcome them
• Stay focused on completing your goal.  Remind yourself of your abilities to accomplish this goal.

Never Give Up

We will get discouraged and at times get off track. Simply put yourself back on  schedule again. We are replacing old habits.  Making goals require self regulation and self starting.  Focus on your goal every day.  Congratulate and celebrate each little step you take towards accomplishing your goal.

Go for it.  You can meet accomplish your goals.

Marlene Anderson

Happy New Year.

Take a few minutes to reflect on all the wonderful, successful and pleasing things you did this past year. Don’t discount the times you held your temper, extended a helping hand, listened compassionately and worked to resolve conflicts.  Allow it to motivate you to even greater goals for next year.

Thank you for following me and signing up for my monthly e-newsletters.  My goal has been to bring you information that might make it easier to deal with adversities, change, and develop new life skills that can help you define your goals, your values and make choices that are right for you.

Blessings,

Marlene

“For God so loved the world. . . ”  John 3:16

This old familiar scripture verse defines Christmas and why we celebrate.

Christmas is filled with time commitments adding to an already hectic schedule as we make mad dashes to the store for last minute presents.

Our “have to” lists are often long and burdensome. Our love list, on the other hand, is filled with happiness and anticipation as we purchase items we sincerely believe will bring pleasure to someone we love. Both lists are necessary. The one fulfills a sense of duty and propriety – the other fills our heart with joy.

Christmas is about love

Christmas is not about Christmas trees or lights or presents under the tree although these are important. It’s about remembrance and celebration. It is about God and the love He gives us – a love that never dies, never tires, never burns out – a love freely given with the hope that as we accept it, our lives will be forever changed and transformed.

St. Paul articulated that transforming love when he wrote to the Corinthians centuries ago. The words and their message are ageless, true and appropriate for any time in history.

Love is patient and kind. It is not jealous or boastful, arrogant or rude. It doesn’t insist on it’s our own way and is not irritable or resentful and does not take pleasure in things that are wrong. Love hopes all things and endures all things.

The gift of love is wrapped within the swaddling clothes of a tiny infant who would grow up and sacrifice his life so we can have hope and salvation. If we take God’s love and gift to us out of the season of Christmas, we are left with shallow rituals that give us a spike in pleasure before dumping us back into the dull routines of life.

But like any gift, if it is left forgotten and unwrapped under the tree we will not experience the joy, anticipation and love attached to it.

May you experience hope, love and joy this Christmas.

Marlene Anderson

There have been many times in my life when things seemed hopeless – when I had run out of options and solutions and like the Psalmist, cried out to God:

 “Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer; from the end of the earth I call to thee, when my heart is faint.”

In those moments we realize we need much more than our own strength and ability to find solutions – we need God’s love, strength and wisdom. At such times we cry out for a miracle.

Hope. When we have hope there is a feeling of expectancy and trust that there is a chance or possibility that something good might happen. But it isn’t a hope placed in the human world but a trust in God and a belief that He will never desert or leave us.

Difficulties and problems will challenge us every day, some more daunting than others, which will require our ability to analyze and realize solutions. But when those adversities involve the death of loved ones, dreams and expectations or life altering events, we are left stunned and wondering what to do.

There are many stories of people who have found themselves in life threatening situations who have experienced miracles.

But what happens when we have prayed for a miracle and it doesn’t happen? Does that mean our hope has been misplaced or misguided?

I have experienced life saving miracles that supersede any rational or logical explanation. But I have also experienced the transformation of life as a result of placing my hope, faith and trust in God. The miracle then is that we are given the wisdom, strength and fortitude necessary to work through tough times and impossible circumstances.

 “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future….” Jer 29:11

As we humble ourselves and place our hope and trust in God, we will be given whatever we need to face any adversity and with His help are able to handle whatever crisis or tragedy we face.

May your hope and trust this Christmas season be placed in the Son of God who came to this earth so many years ago to be our hope and salvation.

 Marlene Anderson

Christmas cards promote peace to our world. We tend to project that idea of peace out there – to the world at large. It suggests freedom from war and harmony with nations of opposing ideology and purposes.

Yet peace begins within each of us and it starts with making peace with God; then ourselves and radiates out towards family and friends.

Peace creates a state of quiet and tranquility within us. When we experience peace, our mind is calm and free from anxiety.

Making peace, however, sounds simpler than it is. Without having peace suggests we are in conflict with others.  Achieving peace requires agreeing to make an end to hostilities replacing it with forgiveness and harmony.

To make peace with God requires our recognition and need of His grace and forgiveness and humbly confessing our sins. To make peace with ourselves we extend that same grace and forgiveness to ourselves.

When we have experienced that grace and forgiveness, we are able to extend it to others for we recognize we too commit injustices.

May the Prince of Peace who came down to earth so long ago, meet you during this Christmas season and give you peace.

 Marlene Anderson

“What a stack of blessings you have piled up for those who worship you,

Ready and waiting for all who run to you to escape an unkind world.”

Ps 31- The Message

In the struggles of life, blessings can seem far removed from us. I know that when I am in the thick of things, looking for blessings is the farthest thing from my mind. I want solutions – I want to make things happen – I want bad times resolved or removed.

But life does not alter reality in order to make it easier for us.

Over Thanksgiving, I visited a dear friend who was losing his battle with cancer while his loving wife tended to his needs. It had been an ongoing struggle for some time. I asked her how she was doing.

At the end of each day, she said, her husband and her would think of at least one blessing they had received that day – no matter how small. It gave them joy, smiles, peace, strength, hope and assurance that God was with them on this journey.

I know in my own life’s experiences, when I stop trying to make something happen over which I have no control, and simply let God take over and focus instead on blessings, I not only get peace, but renewed energy and expanded hope.

May your blessings continue past this Thanksgiving and that they will touch your heart and may you sing and praise God that you are not alone.

Marlene Anderson

Blessings – they are there in the everyday routines of life. But we seldom see them because we are so caught up in our jobs and work and worries. In fact, we seldom find time to spend any time with a God who has blessed us in so many ways.

Sometimes in our tragedies and sorrows we think there is nothing for which to be thankful. Yet I have found it is precisely in my tragedies and sorrows where I have found God waiting to provide comfort, strength and hope.

 “You’re blessed when you stay on course, walking steadily on the road revealed by God. You’re blessed when you follow his directions, doing your best to find him.”*

I am blessed because every day I have the freedom to make choices. I can make them by myself or I can choose to make them in harmony with God’s Word.

“That’s right – you don’t go off on your own. You walk straight along the road he set. You, God, prescribed the right way to live; now you expect us to live it.”*

As I give thanks this Thanksgiving for all of those who have shed their blood to keep this country free I am humbled by their sacrifice. I give thanks to God who has blessed our nation and our freedom.

 “Oh, that my steps might be steady, keeping to the course you set; then I’d never have any regrets in comparing my life with your counsel.”*

May your Thanksgiving be filled with remembrances of all the blessings God has given us as a nation and to each of us personally. May you find in those remembrances the strength to meet tomorrow’s challenges, the peace we seek as we walk with God, and the hope for a future where God’s love is more evident than man’s hatred for one another.

 Marlene Anderson

*The scripture quoted and highlighted is from Psalm 119, The Message, copyright 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson. All rights reserved.

My refrigerator stopped working. Like most emergencies, this did not fit into my time frame or financial budget. However, like it or not, this was a problem I had to deal with now and not later.

Like any problem, the first thing that was required was an assessment and evaluation. I had discovered the outage before my food spoiled or was totally unthawed and was able to transfer most of it to a little refrigerator in my garage.  The rest went to one of my friend’s freezer. Now I had to assess the damage and evaluate the options available to me.

Whenever I consider solutions to problems, I get as much input and information from as many sources as possible for comparison.

I took time to talk with a number of friends regarding their experiences with fairly new refrigerators. Mine was a good brand and was only ten years old. The refrigerator in my garage was over 35 years old and still working beautifully. Were appliances just not lasting anymore? What I learned was that other people were also experiencing appliances that “wore out” at an earlier age than in the past. Part of that was due to the electronics rather than the mechanical parts of today’s appliances. It didn’t make me too happy.

So what were my options and what were the pros and cons of each? I could call a repair man or purchase a new refrigerator. Repair men are not cheap. If the problem was too costly to fix then I was out the money for the service call as well as the purchase of a new refrigerator. I talked with a reputable repair man and asked his input. While he could not give me any direct answers without actually coming out, my conversation helped me to think about purchasing.

So I began the process of comparing new models, both on line and in the stores. After gathering as much information as I could, and praying about it, I gave myself a few days to “sleep on it” – time to simply allow my brain to think about my options.

In the end, I chose to buy a new refrigerator and cancelled the repair appointment.  Because I had given myself time to think about my options, I was at peace with my decision.

In today’s high power marketing, it is important to base our decisions on needs rather than just wants. Explore your options and evaluate carefully. With any problem or situation, assess and evaluate your needs, take time to get information and compare prices and options, and make your decision based on prayer and necessity rather than desirability.

Marlene Anderson

It seems more and more of my friends and loved ones are experiencing sorrow, losses and life-threatening or devastating news. For some, it seems as though the heavens have opened up and a truck load of problems and tragedies have been dumped on them – much like the tsunami that tore through the coastal town of Japan a couple of years ago or the tornadoes that have recently ripped through the Midwest.

In a blink of an eye their lives were changed forever.

When our world has been washed out to sea or reduced to kindling, our brain struggles to comprehend what has happened.

Pictures of devastating storms can seem surreal.  But in our everyday lives, we will receive news that can seem just as life-smashing: our marriage has ended, we lost our job, our child has committed suicide, I have cancer.

Even when we have a faith in God, our brain struggles to process the magnitude of such circumstances. In shock we try to pick up the pieces and put our life back together again and we realize just how fragile life can be and how much of we take for granted.

But even in the worst of tragedies and disasters, God is waiting to help us. In my book, “Making Stress Work for You”, (available on my website), I wrote about all the times when the whirlwinds of life left me in a state of shock or panic. But God  was there offering us hope, strength and assurance.

We will be faced with unspeakable disasters and losses. When that happens, life can still hold meaning and purpose.

A few years ago I was having coffee in a local coffee shop. I started a conversation with a lady who was busy knitting. She was making comfort shawls for Hospice. What was so amazing was that she had Parkinson’s, could not hold a regular job, and was supporting an elderly mother who also had Parkinson’s who she cared for in her home. I was humbled as I marveled at her tenacity and acceptance of her life’s “tsunami”. She did not let it stop her. Instead she used her time to reach out and help others.

They are a witness to what we can do even when struck with tragedies.  They not only endure but use their misfortune as stepping stones to become stronger and more resilient.

Devastating storms will forever change our lives. However, we have a choice as to how we let those changes affect us.

We can take deep breaths, reach out and take God’s calming hand and march forward with His strength or we can remain frozen in our panic and despair.

We can challenge negative thinking, develop can-do attitudes and then put a smile on our face, roll up our sleeves and go to work.

Marlene Anderson