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Posts Categorized: Featured

Families: Love Them or Hate Them

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Do you remember when you were a kid and couldn’t wait to leave home? You couldn’t wait to do things the way you wanted without somebody telling you what you could or could not do.

But whether we like it or not, we take our families of origin with us. That includes our typical way of communicating. Whether through modeled behavior or words spoken, patterns of communication will be repeated from generation to generation until we recognize and replace them.

Today on my blog and podcast, I’ll show you how working through your past enables you to change dysfunctional patterns learned during childhood.

Those Early Relationships

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

We learn about relationships in our family of origin.

Our view of self, others and the world are shaped there. Family dynamics are very powerful. Patterns of behaviors are repeated from generation to generation.

How we deal with differences within our family of origin can have a major impact on how we relate today.

As we you grow up, you go through predictable, developmental stages with certain tasks associated with them. None of us complete these tasks without some problems.

Continue reading to learn how we discover ourselves through both negative and positive relational experiences.

Of Course I’m Listening: 5 Tips for Better Communication

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Every day I observe the difficulties people have in communicating with one another.

We struggle to listen with the purpose of understanding.

We jump to conclusions instead of getting the whole picture.

We often don’t consider what may be happening in the other person’s life that might make it difficult for them to ask for what they want or need or share what they are experiencing.

We all struggle to understand where the other person is coming from and to share our own needs and wants.

Good relationships require honest listening. Today on my podcast and blog, I’ll show you 5 ways to improve your listening skills.

The Art of Relaxed Conversation

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Have you ever sat down with an elderly parent and tried to have a conversation?

It can be difficult to find common things to talk about, because both of you are in a different world space. Most often what is needed is the art of listening. But it also requires knowing how to start a conversation.  

Today on my blog and podcast, we’ll discuss the art of relaxed conversation.

Common Communication Breakdowns

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Communication is a process. It is circular, both verbal and non-verbal, and it is continuous. You cannot not communicate.

Today on my blog and podcast, we’ll explore why breakdowns in communication usually occur. I’ll also introduce you to 7 common communication problems:
-Self-summarizing syndrome
-Off-beaming
-Mind reading
-Kitchen sinking
-Yes, but…
-Cross-complaining
-Standoffs

Communication Basics

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Communication breakdown is nothing new.

How often are the messages we send received with the same objective we had in mind? How often do we hear something other than what was intended?

Our messages go through a filtering system that can color and distort. We speak and hear from our own experiences, from how we feel in the moment, from our perceptions, and from our interpretations of life.

Today on my blog and podcast, I’ll help you develop your skills of listening, validating, and providing feedback, so you can become a more effective communicator.

Learning to Communicate: 12 Tips

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Learning to Communicate: 12 Tips | focuswithmarlene.com

I want to continue this new year with the overall theme, “Change Your Focus – Change your Life.”

To develop a new focus that will enrich and empower your life, it is important to examine the patterns you have established over time and identify what is working and what is not.

With insight and understanding, you can change ineffective or even destructive patterns, one step at a time. These new patterns become new life tools you can use successfully every day.

Today on my blog and podcast, we’ll examine whether our communication is working for or against us. I’ll walk you through 12 tips to improve your communication skills.

8 Qualities of Hope

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

hope

When everything around us seems to be crashing, and we think nothing else could possibly happen, it invariably does.

Problems have a domino effect – one problem creates another and so on. At such times, we cry out to God for strength and hope.

Throughout scripture, we read stories of God gracing His people with faith, hope and trust. It says something good and desirable can happen, even in the worst of times.

Today on my blog and podcast, I’ll share eight qualities of hope.

Peace: A Gift We are Given

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Peace | focuswithmarlene.com

Peace. One moment our spirits are dejected and depressed – the next we are feeling at peace.

What changes have occurred to create this difference?

When losses run deep and grief has a longer time frame to complete, we may find ourselves feeling okay one moment and down in the dumps the next.

I have found my spirit and soul fed by the statements of faith, assurance and love I find in the scriptures. It is where I experience God reaching out to me and where I find peace in the midst of any turmoil or tragedy.

What if…

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

"What If?... Questions I Ask

What if

We stopped trying to live the perfect life.

Would we become real?

What if

We stopped pretending we had it all together.

Would we fall apart, or would we finally recognize our need for help?

What if

We saw the Ten Commandments as a gift from a loving Father trying to teach us how to live non-destructive lives.

Would we follow more of them?