Let's Talk

Posts Categorized: Overcome Adversity

7 Ways to Turn a Major Setback into an Advantage

When you were little, life was exciting. Those first tentative steps as a toddler soon became an adventure as you ran around exploring your world. Before long, you were enrolled in kindergarten, then grade school, high school and on to college.

Excited about all the possibilities, you set out to conquer the world.

Then life hit. Others got the jobs you wanted. College debts mounted and your first paychecks barely covered the rent. Relationships you thought would last ended with bad feelings and the hope for marriage and family evaporated.

Each time we get knocked down, it becomes harder and harder to get up. The goals and aspirations we had are abandoned.

5 Essentials to Successful Goals

To complete this segment on setting and completing goals, I have listed five important considerations that can help you succeed with your plans.

5 Important Essentials Needed to Make Goals Successful

1. Goals are easy to make – they are not easy to complete.

We have lofty ideals and aspirations that rarely include the reality of how we will complete them.

Review your “what I want” list and eliminate items that are “wishes” which you are unwilling to commit to action.

Add to this list some personal development goals, such as becoming kinder and more understanding, a willingness to listen instead of rushing to judgment or discovering something to be grateful for every day.

What Goals are Right for Me?

Like you, I have made many goals. Some were completed but many others were not.

As I think about the goals I want to make for this upcoming year, I am challenged to ask, what made the difference between success and failure with past goals? Why did I abandon some but not others?

In reflection, I think one of the most important reasons was because I hadn’t been specific enough in defining my goal. To be specific you need to know what you want, why you want it and must be willing to work to achieve it.

So much of what we do is due to a moment’s desire: if I had such and such or could do such and such I would be happy.

Why should we bother with goals if we so seldom complete or accomplish them?

New Beginnings

Every January we start a new year – a new beginning – making goals we think we will keep but seldom do.  I am no exception. As I thought about what I want to accomplish by the end of 2019, I reflected on past times when I had succeeded with my goals. What did I…


“For God so loved the world….”

Love: It seems we use it so casually, almost superficially – sometimes even flippantly. We often demean or reduce it to levels of lustful desire.

God: we exploit Him for our own purposes –throw Him in the trash can when we are no longer interested – group Him together with all the superficial little gods we create to make us feel good.

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only Begotten Son to die for us.”

In this simple statement, God and love come together in a comprehensive understanding. We are told exactly what kind of love God is offering us: one that is solemn and significant enough that it will die for us. People are being killed today in the name of some god. But would a god of hate die for us? I don’t think so.

Hope that Sustains

When I write or speak about picking up the pieces of our lives, I share my own personal life experiences of hope as well as examples from scripture and science.

Throughout the Bible, we read stories of God interacting with His people where faith, hope, and trust are played out. Within science, we know that the thoughts we dwell on will have an impact on us mentally, physically and spiritually.

Hope can change the chemistry in the body.

Hope says there is the possibility of something good happening.  It is not only a belief but a feeling that “something desirable” might happen.   Without hope, we give up or find ourselves repeating the words made popular in a song of the ’60s that said, “Is this all there is”?

Hope encourages 

When we are encouraged, we gain confidence.  Within confidence, we find courage.

True Blue

Yesterday I attended a memorial for a friend of mine whose son had died.  Family is so precious and we want to always remember them.

So, I decided to re-post a blog I did in remembrance of my son who died the day after Thanksgiving in 2009.

We continue to remember his bright smile, his humorous quips, and his incredible drawing and art. And we can’t help but smile and laugh as we think about him.

You are never forgotten, Don.  From me, your sister and your brother, we post again some of your incredible art, pictures of you growing up and the recording of the song written for and about you by your friend, David Abramson.

Giving Thanks

I have so much to be thankful for this year and every year. How often we focus on the not so good instead of all the good things in our lives?  We don’t need to wait for Thanksgiving to be thankful and grateful.  Finding those kernels of blessings and gratitude are essential every day in helping us survive the fast pace, disappointments and huge learning curves.

Anger is good when….

My last several posts have focused on anger – what it reveals about us – its good qualities and its potentially destructive impact on families and relationships when it is out of control.

Years ago, I created a handout on anger that was part of a class I was helping develop and write. The following is an edited version of that handout that helps summarize in a small way this complicated and complex emotion.

It’s okay to be angry – its not okay to be aggressive

If you have known someone or lived with someone who has an anger problem, you might think there’s nothing good or redeeming about feeling angry.

Yet anger is a normal, natural emotion and has a purpose – it is part of our survival system.

Anger and aggressive behavior are not always synonymous.  You can feel angry without becoming aggressive.

We often have mixed feelings about this potentially explosive emotion.  If we think anger is bad, we won’t know what to do when we feel angry.  If we think being angry automatically leads to uncontrollable behavior, we might want to deny it or carefully hide it behind acceptable cultural masks. But it doesn’t just go away.  The thoughts associated with It need to be acknowledged and dealt with.