What you say to yourself and others has long term consequences. Words said in anger cut deep. Words that devalue who you are, your worth and esteem put you in a self-imposed prison.
Communication begins with you to you. When we esteem ourselves we can esteem others.
As you learn to appreciate who you are, you can assist your next steps forward with positive statements made in the first person “I” that affirm your significance and usefulness. These confirm your positive intentions for life.
I affirm that I have choices and abilities
I affirm I have worth and value
I affirm that I can accomplish any goals I choose when
I put my heart, mind and hard work to the task
I lost a brother last week – sudden – unexpected.
In honor of his death and life, and for anyone who has lost a loved one, I post a poem I wrote in 2008 when I was working with people going through grief – wounded people.
You may have struggled going through a major loss in your life. Or you may be helping a friend who is grieving. This is for anyone who has been in that position.
Need a hand for support as they learn to walk again
Need friends who will be there
Need to know they can honor their journey
Need to have their feelings and experience validated
We can usually identify what it is we don’t want, but often struggle to put into words exactly what we do want. Until we do, we will be unable to design a plan and stay focused to accomplish it.
Why, What, and How
What have you wanted to do but for whatever reason never got around to doing it. Maybe you thought about getting more education, or starting your own business or putting time and energy into creating crafts that others would want to buy.
Perhaps you wished you could work for a worthwhile cause that pulls your heart. But life seems so hectic.
These three little words, why, what and how, along with the questions they pose may help you rethink those wishes and wants. Use them to re-examine them and their importance to you.
Those of you who love to take pictures do more than point and shoot. You are constantly adjusting the lens to take in more of the landscape or to narrow the scope to pinpoint a particular point of interest.
You continue to adjust your focus until you can capture exactly what you want.
You care about the lighting, the angle, the depth perception, and the nuances that give some pictures a timeless quality.
We adjust the lens of our cameras –
but do we adjust the lens of our camera of life?
When we feel there are no solutions to our problems, we strike out, hang on to resentment and blame others for our difficulties or distress. Or we condemn ourselves.
Remaining in that mindset, however, takes away our personal power and keeps us locked in a never ending cycle of bitterness and anger.
Our focus remains on what we can’t do and not on what we can do.
We are a combination of many things: DNA, personality, childhood experiences and the fundamental beliefs we put in place while growing up. We form perceptions of who we think we are based on how we interpret our experiences.
Everyone will be affected differently by life events. While one thing may be an irritant to one person, it can be a positive experience to another.
Completing the stories from our past give us the opportunity to take a more measured look at what happened in our growing up years and how that continues to influence our present day life. Some things made us feel little and insignificant while others motivated us to become the best we can.
I remember those early days and months after the death of my husband. One winter morning, I saw a white rose blooming on one of my rose bushes. The leaves were gone and it was January and very cold.
It precipitated the writing of the following poem. I share it today for my friend.
Loss is part of life; but those who remain struggle with their loss. Lois, God be with you and comfort you.
I Cried – He Came
God came one morning when I was down and low
He showed me a patch of blue between the clouds,
A bird scrounging in the dried bushes
Looking for food
“The Shack”, by Wm. Paul Young.
Several years ago, I led a six week book review at my church on “The Shack.” Last week I was asked to speak at a book club on the same book which has come into focus again with the recent release of the movie made from the book.
Preparing for my talk and discussion, I asked myself, how can I reduce such a rich book to an hour speech? I saw the movie, reviewed the book again, and reached deep into the text to pull out some of its jewels of thought provoking questions. Although it is a fiction story, it invokes questions such as who is God? Does He really care for us? How am I to respond to Him? If I have suffered a great loss, an unspeakable tragedy, does God care? And what do I do with my anger, hate and resentment?
Here are snippets of that book feature I did on my blog site, in May of 2015.
Yes you can! Just say No!
Perhaps you just lost your job – or you have spent four grueling years getting your degree but there are no jobs available in your line of work. What do you do?
Do you get up, put on a brave face and keep trying? Or do you give up.
Yes you can! Just say No.
Yes, you can is a mindset that reflects our willingness to dig deep inside ourselves and look for the tools we need to hone and use them more effectively. This isn’t just about putting a positive spin on a serious, perhaps life threatening situation.
It’s looking at your situation squarely and saying, yes I can; with the help of God and doing whatever it takes within my principles and values to make it happen.
It won’t be easy. It will take hard work. It will take ingenuity and creativity. It will take doing many things you might have thought beneath your talents and abilities.
“How was your day?”
It is a question we need to ask ourselves at the end of the day regardless if we work from a home office, are a stay-at-home Mom, or commute to a job away from home.
Are you exhausted, worn out and ready to collapse at the end of the day?
If your job leaves you drained of energy, coming home each day to a chaotic environment, dishes in the sink, clothes and toys scattered all over, chores left undone, is not what you want to have to face. It’s hard to relax when everything around you is a mess.
Time management is your tool. It will be effective only as it fits your wants, needs and goals.
What can a time management plan do for you?
Habits can keep us mired in a rut or they can take us to lofty heights of achievement.
Habits are great because we don’t have to think about what we are doing. It is like being on auto pilot.
We are creatures of habit. Some habits keep us from using our time efficiently. Others are time wasters.
Habits and behaviors are continued because we get a payoff or reward of some kind that motivates us.
We watch TV or play video games as a reward for working hard all day. We may stop and have a drink with buddies. But along with a reward, there is also a cost.
We do things in the moment because they are gratifying; but they may have negative long term consequences.
When we regulate our behaviors, we are able to harness our energy more productively, in a way we plan and choose.