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Posts Categorized: The Counselor Is In

Working through Pain – #1

It takes time to heal from emotional wounds Mourning a loss is more than just recovering from the shock and intense sorrow of those early weeks and months. Working through the pain takes both time and energy. Not everyone will experience the same intensity of pain or time it takes to move forward. For me,…

Working Through Anger in Grief

Anger is a survival mechanism,  triggering our flight and fight response to danger.  When people feel angry, they want to lash out or attack in some way. Often attached to our anger is a hurt of some kind. Venting or acting out may release some of anger’s energy in the short term, but it will not take away our anger. Losses can trigger anger as we protest…

What Do I do With My Anger while Grieving

Grieving is an emotional journey. Within the emotions of our losses, we discover how important people in our lives are to us. And when we have lost them, we react emotionally. Some emotions by their very nature may be more difficult to deal with than others. Anger is one of those emotions that may keep…

Unresolved Conflict in Grief and Loss

A side of grief we seldom consider is the death of someone with whom we have had unresolved conflict or emotional distress. We may not have had a chance for reconciliation or resolution. What if you had been a victim of past abuse, abandonment, rejection or injustice; or lived with years of misunderstandings or conflict…

Guilt and Our What if’s….

When we hear on the news of senseless shootings or tragic accidents where innocent victims are killed, our first thoughts may be “why” or “how could this happen”; often followed with “what if”. What if I hadn’t let my teen go to that party, or what if. . . Senseless tragedies are emotionally charged events…

Stuck in Grief

Grief and loss can trigger a whole range of complex and sometimes conflicting emotions: anger and joy – sadness and happiness – guilt and relief. Some of the more intense emotions might provoke a barrage of questions: Is it normal to feel this way? And if it is, how do I deal with it. While…

Roller Coaster of Emotions

At a recent funeral I attended, upbeat music was played, favorite songs of the deceased sung and prepared comments read by family members left us laughing and smiling through our tears. I remembered the two memorial services held for my husband where for over an hour people spontaneously shared all the wonderful and humorous stories…

Myths and Misconceptions About Grieving

Research continues to give us information about the impact of grief and loss and the process that helps us heal. In the process we have identified myths related to the grieving process. Here are some misconceptions we hold about grief. We “get over” it This is a phrase we often use when talking about loss….

Expressions of Grief

Death or loss is often a surreal experience; what had such great importance to our lives has now ended; it can no longer be seen or felt or held or heard. It is difficult to simply tuck the experiences you shared with someone you loved into your memory bank like photos in a picture album,…

Grieving our Losses

Throughout life we experience losses: of jobs, security, dreams, childhoods, marriages, health, and loved ones. The seasons of life all hold within their walls the need to grieve the losses that are attached. For most moments of transition, we give ourselves a few moments to think sadly and perhaps fondly about what we are giving…