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Posts Categorized: Featured

Where is Your Focus? On Things That Discourage or Motivate?

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

What are you focused on?

I love to take pictures. Cameras of today make it so easy to point-and-shoot. In fact, cell phones are the cameras of choice because they are instantly available.

There are times, however, when I want to do more than just snap a quick picture of friends. I want to capture the beauty of the countryside or zero in on a hummingbird or reveal the intricacies of a spider’s web. At such times, I want a camera whose lens I can adjust to take in more features or narrow the scope to pinpoint a particular point of interest.

Where Do I Begin? Exploring Possibilities

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

wheelbarrow and rake

The yard needs tidying – but where do I begin?

Dinner needs to be made – but where do I begin?

The house needs cleaning – but where do I begin?

My life needs to be turned around – but where do I begin?

In this article and podcast episode, we’ll explore the essentials you’ll want to put in place that will help you explore new possibilities.

Developing a New Focus

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

focus

Today I want to introduce you to my new series: Developing a New Focus.

On the HOME page of my website, there is a picture of two chairs and a table on a sunny patio, with a teapot and two cups, ready for two people to have a relaxed conversation.

Atop the picture, I wrote, “Your focus defines who you are and who you can become.”

I put those words there because it is so true – what you continue to focus on will determine what kind of person you become and what you can achieve.

The Healing Power of Laughter

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Laughing through tears

Can you laugh when the expectations you had for life have been turned upside down and inside out and you wonder how you will make it through another day? Your world has changed forever.

When my husband and I brought our third child home from the hospital after he was born, it was with joy and excitement. He was a husky, healthy ten-pound baby boy. However, by six months we knew something wasn’t right as he still was unable to hold up his head.

Many months later, once again, we brought our son home from another extended hospital visit where extensive tests had been done. Only this time, we were in shock. The final diagnosis was that Don had cerebral palsy of the worst magnitude.

The Joy of Laughter

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Finding Humor in Our Grief

When was the last time you laughed – I mean, really laughed – until the tears rolled down your cheeks, your sides hurt, and you gasped for air? You laughed and laughed and didn’t want to stop!

Something tickled your funny bone so that in an instant you saw the world differently – your situation was so bad, it was funny – your problem so profound, it was laughable – the ludicrous became the comical. The world had turned upside down and you laughed as you swung in the absurdity of the moment.

What precipitated that laughter? How did it change how you felt about your world, your situation, yourself? How did it change the minutes and hours afterwards?

Reframing: A New Perspective

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Adjust Your Focus: Reframe Your Circumstances | FocusWithMarlene.com

Our first response to any drastic life change is usually shock, then denial. When you lose your job, can’t make your house payment, or have been diagnosed with a life-altering or life-threatening disease, the crisis takes center stage and everything else is blocked from view.

Reframing takes what life has handed us and looks at it in an expanded way.

The following story illustrates this point. Years ago, I worked for a company that led two weeks of day-long classes for injured workers. In these classes we taught attendees how pain disrupts our lives, what we bring to the pain experience and ways to go beyond this pain.

As individuals began to apply the information we gave them to their personal situations, it was amazing and encouraging to see what a difference it made in their outlook for the future.

Forgiveness: Release from the Prison of Resentment

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

prison bars

“But I say to you that hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.”
—Luke 6:27

Really – pray for them?

Jesus said, forgive seventy times seven (Matthew 18:22). We take it as a moral imperative. But it isn’t just Jesus who tells us how important forgiveness is, science confirms it as well. In fact, not to forgive is putting a slow death sentence on yourself, as the theologian Frederick Buechner so aptly describes.

In this article and podcast episode, I’ll show you 7 ways to make forgiveness a gift, rather than an obligation.

Lay Down the Unwanted Burden of Resentment

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Woman carrying heavy backpack

To seek revenge is to want retribution – we want people to pay for what they did. When the injustice is repeated over and over again in our mind, the desire for revenge increases.

The flames of anger, hurt, and betrayal continue to be stoked until we have a raging furnace inside us. We have become a victim.

Resentment and revenge are bitter pills you continue to chew without relief. In today’s blog post and podcast episode, I’m sharing a story story titled, “The Unwanted Package.” The story beautifully illustrates why it’s so important to set down that heavy burden of resentment.

The Cost of Unchecked Anger

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Anger, like all emotions, has a purpose.

It can help us survive, can motivate us to take action and make appropriate and necessary changes. It protects us when life threatens us psychologically or physically.

But when anger becomes habitual, it can be harmful.

When used repeatedly as our typical response to things that irritate us, we end up with an anger problem that can be catastrophic over time. That’s because, when we’re angry, we tend to be reactive. We no longer think rationally.

In this article (with accompanying audio), I’ll help you understand anger and will suggest practical things you can do if you are feeling constantly angry.

Legitimate Fears vs Paper Dragons

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

paper dragon

Fear is a critical survival warning system.

It triggers our fight/flight response system to meet any threat by fleeing, fighting, or remaining frozen in place.

Fear can be our friend, or it can be our enemy. It can prepare, instruct, and keep us safe; or it can become a huge threatening shadow that keeps us locked in doubt, worry, uncertainty, and helplessness.

In this article (with accompanying audio), I’ll help you recognize the differences between unhealthy fear and healthy fear, and I’ll share preventive measures you can put in place when you sense the fear dragon breathing down your back.