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Posts Categorized: Featured

Changing Your Internal Dialog from “I Can’t” to “I Can”: Practice Positive Affirmations

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

What do you say to yourself when the world drops out from under you?

When the doctor says you have cancer, or your child has become a drug addict, or when a beloved spouse, parent, or grandparent is on hospice?

Every day, in some way, we are responding to the tragedies, calamities, and heartbreaks we experience. We seldom think about what we are saying to ourselves at such times and how it can impact our ability to meet those challenges.

Words have incredible power, especially when they devalue who we are, our worth, esteem and abilities.

Today on my podcast and blog, you’ll learn how to replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations – a process that will guide you as you create new goals.

How our Perceptions of the World Work For or Against Us

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

How do you see the world?

How does your perception differ from others you know, including your family?

Why does it matter?

Those differences become obvious as we talk, act, and live our lives. It also influences the observations we make and the insights we get, and how we use them.

Perceptions are the personal assessments we make about the world, and they begin to form early in life, becoming more specific as we age. They influence all our relationships and how we communicate and interact with others.

Nurturing a Successful Marriage

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

When our marriage falls apart, we feel a sense of shock. Even though we were aware things weren’t good, we somehow still believed they weren’t as bad as they are.

We ask ourselves, “What happened?”

Once trust is broken, it is difficult to rebuild, but it can be done. It takes courage, determination, and resiliency to maintain a long-lasting relationship.

Today on my blog and podcast, we’ll discuss:
-Warning signs of a dying marriage
-The #1 component of a successful marriage
-9 psychological tasks that make marriage work

Signs that Your Marriage is in Serious Trouble

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

When we get married, we believe that life will be good from now on.

And then we find ourselves disagreeing, having passionate arguments, and spending less pleasant time together.

When things go wrong, couples need to have a strategy in place to repair their relationship. Strengthening a marriage requires respect and honor and a willingness to create a sense of purpose together.

Today on my blog and podcast, we’ll examine six warning signs that often predict potential divorce, from Dr. John Gottman’s book, “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.”

Discerning Hidden Agendas in Relationships

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Like any skill we gain competence in, communication needs to be practiced. But like any habit we put in place, it is easy to get discouraged and go back to old ways of doing things.

Too often we come to our conversations with a hidden agenda – a motive that isn’t always clear to us.

We don’t come to resolve problems, but to convince the other person they need to change.

We want the other person to see and hear and accept our point of view – we don’t really want to hear theirs. We want to be understood and accepted just as we are.

Today on my blog and podcast, we’ll discuss our motives in communication, and actions we can put in place to nurture thriving relationships.

Understanding Conflict and Working Through It

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

A lot of our conflicts are fueled by early childhood experiences, those internalized and unresolved memories that trigger anger and resentment and drastically influence the relationships we have as adults.

Before you can negotiate conflicts, you need to first understand what you bring to them.

  • What triggers a conflict for you?
  • What are you feeling and experiencing?

That requires honesty without making excuses. It is so easy to see ourselves as a victim and play the blame game. However, when you give up your responsibility, you also give up your personal power.

“That’s Not What I Meant”: 11 Pointers to Promote Good Listening

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

“But you said…”

“No, I didn’t…”

“Yes, I heard you say…”

“Well, that’s not what I meant!”

And so, it goes – round and round and round, until we end up with two angry people who continue to find ways to attack, defend, and destroy each other.

You were sure you said what you believed would be easily understood. And yet, that is not what the other person heard. Anger is intensified, and you dig in your heels and refuse to budge.

How did we get into this conflict in the first place? And how do we get out of it?

Today on my blog and podcast, I’ll share 11 pointers to help you improve your listening skills.

Purposeful Conversation

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

As I sat with my friend, having dinner, I was struck by how many couples were sitting opposite each other, engrossed in their cell phones, with only an occasional comment to their partner. Or they were simply sitting quietly, looking out the window or watching the activity in the restaurant, each deep in their own thoughts, with emptiness reflected on their faces.

Where was the active engagement in conversation? Where was the listening, gesturing, offering points of view, and laughing?

Today on my blog and podcast, we’ll discuss the ways in which purposeful conversations are essential to healthy relationships.

The Value of Investing in Relationships

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

When we talk about investments, it usually relates to what stocks we have, or investing in our children’s education, or in our future.

But perhaps the greatest investment we can make is our investment in our relationships.

Today on my blog and podcast, we’ll explore why relationships are such an integral part of healthy living. Plus, I’ll give you four questions to help you think about the relationships you want to invest in.

How Birth Order Impacts Your Life and Your Communication

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Are you on top or bottom of the heap?

Long-term research confirms that our birth order and position within our family of origin have a predictable emotional effect on our lives.

Where do you fall within the members of your family? Were you the oldest, the middle child, or the youngest? Perhaps you were an only child.

Today on my blog and podcast, we’ll take a close look at birth order. Understanding how birth order impacts you will help you better negotiate your current relationships.