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Posts Categorized: Moving Beyond Survival

Life Is a Dance of Letting Go and Taking Control

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

dancer

Life is a dance – a process – that requires flexibility while we learn how to change position and location and still maintain our balance.

Life is movement – we are going somewhere.

Life is never static – never the same but constantly changing and evolving. We can learn the music of life; we can adjust our movements and take charge of change and our responses to it or simply be swept along with no direction or purpose.

To experience freedom and create meaning in our lives, we must let go of the past while taking control of the present and future. In this blog post and podcast episode, I’ll help you understand what “letting go” and “taking control” mean, and how problems, tragedies, and losses can help you.

Building a Bridge

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Hilly old bridge

When transitioning from a loss, you need to build a bridge from your ending to a new beginning.

You can’t go back and glue the pieces of your life together again. But you can pick up the pieces you need and find a new way to connect them.

In this week’s blog post and podcast episode, you’ll get tips for building that bridge to a new beginning.

I’ll show you how to choose responses that move you forward, and I’ll ask five questions that will help you gain a better understanding of yourself, your abilities and possibilities.

6 Tips for Making Successful Transitions

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

bridge over stream

We leave something of ourselves behind in our endings as we reach forward to a new beginning.

When endings are not adequately completed, it will be difficult to make a successful new beginning. We no longer feel pleasure or satisfaction in the things we used to do, and we get discouraged and disheartened with this uncertainty. We wonder, Can I have a meaningful life again?

When leaving one world to move towards another, we go through a transitional period. In this article and podcast episode, I’ll show you six ways to effectively use reflection during a transition.

Developing Your Personal Plan of Action

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

This month, we have reflected on and became aware of our habits, both habits of thinking and habits of behaviors.

Go back and review the answers you gave to the questions asked in each of the four previous blog posts:

Which habits grabbed your attention?

Which current habits are helpful, and which are not?

Look at your list of potential habit changes and prioritize them. Which one would benefit you the most?

Any habit change requires starting small. Continue reading…

4 Ways Habits Are Created

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

sticky note on bathroom mirror

Change is ongoing throughout life. We will experience many ups and downs, bumps and bruises, most of which we take for granted.

It is when we encounter major upheavals and setbacks that it takes longer to get back on our feet. At those times we have the opportunity to reflect on what is working and what is not and explore new ways to improve our life and make our goals happen.

This month, we have been reflecting on how current habits can either help or hinder us.

In How to Replace Bad Habits With Beneficial Habits, you made a list of how you spent your days and the habits that either got things done or got in the way.

In Changing Negative Habits Formed During Childhood, you explored the messages you heard as a kid that resulted in many of the habits you have today.

In How to Replace Critical Self-Talk with Affirmations, you learned about your internal critic and how to replace it with critical thinking.

This week, I want to summarize how habits are created. Behaviors repeated over and over eventually become a habit. Continue reading…

How to Replace Critical Self-Talk with Affirmations

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

finger pushing "play" button

Going through tough times can be discouraging. You find yourself becoming more and more critical of yourself and others. While each day offers an opportunity to work towards new solutions, our self-talk can become a major stumbling block.

When negative thoughts and self-imposed judgments are constantly repeated, they become an ongoing internal dialogue, like a recording set on auto-replay.

This recording only contains our failures, the times we have been disappointed or rejected. I call this on-going recording your “internal critic.”

Changing Negative Habits Formed During Childhood

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

child crying in kitchen

Hard times bring up old memories; unpleasant or discouraging flashbacks from our youth.

There may have been traumatic times earlier in your adult life. Presumptions about who you believed you could become have been shaken. You might hear your parent admonishing you for not getting better grades or fighting with your siblings, unfair comparisons with a sister or brother or scolding for disobeying.

At such moments, we question ourselves.

Am I really that incompetent? Those old messages can erode any confidence you are gaining.

How to Replace Bad Habits With Beneficial Habits

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

habits

Habits affect every aspect of our lives; from the moment we get up in the morning to the time we go to bed. We usually think of habits as our daily routines, so we don’t think much about them.

But our habits involve much more than our usual routines. How we think, perceive, and respond to the world become habits.

In this article, we’ll examine how our typical ways of responding can become habits without us even realizing it.

I’ll give you tips for recognizing non-productive habits, and strategies for replacing them with beneficial habits that will help you become more positive and productive.

7 Things You Need to Know About Habits

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

habits

There are many ways you can design a new road map. But before you do, you need to know what you are doing now.

What habits do you have in place that help you use your time effectively?
What habits are time wasters?

Once you become aware of your habits, you can put in place those that benefit you the most. Often it only takes some small habit changes to result in huge benefits.

Today on my blog and podcast, I’ll show you 7 things to remember about habits.

Change Your Expectations and Change the Outcomes

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

bracelet with "believe" engraved on it

Several years ago, I met a bubbly and enthusiastic woman. As I got to know her, I was amazed at her life story. She was a goal setter, had a college degree, got married and expected her goals to become a reality.

She discovered, however, that the career she had chosen was not what she had hoped for. She was happy to be a stay-at-home mom, but when her second child died in the womb, she was devastated and was convinced it was her fault even when doctors assured her it wasn’t. She went from a healthy, vibrant individual to sinking into a troubling depression.

During this time, she found a bracelet lying on the sidewalk. She discovered words inscribed on the bracelet… words like imagine, believe, and create.