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Posts Categorized: Overcome Adversity

Book Feature: “The Shack”

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

How do you see God?

Would you see Him as stern – unforgiving – waiting for you to screw up? How does your perception of God influence your relationship with Him? Does it bring you closer or keep you at a distance?

In “The Shack,” by Wm. Paul Young, the main character, Mack, receives a simple typewritten letter in the mail telling “Mackenzie” that he had been missed and if he wanted to get together, he “would be at the shack next weekend”. It was signed “Papa”.

On his quest to overcome the sadness Mack continued to experience after the death of his daughter, he decides to take a trip back to the scene of the crime where his daughter had been snatched by a predator during a family camping trip and was murdered. On the way he meets with an accident and Mack discovers himself at “the shack” where he comes face to face with God.

And the journey begins.

What would you do or say if you came face to face with God, especially if He was totally different than you had envisioned Him? What would you do if He greeted you with love, a hug, excited to see you and with an invitation to join Him for dinner? What if He laughed and saw His world with eyes of positive expectation? In fact, what if He was a She?

Laughing Through Our Tears

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Can you laugh when your expectations of life have been turned upside down and you wonder how you will handle what has just been given to you – when the world you expected to be one way has been changed forever?

Yes you can. But maybe not immediately.

When my husband and I took our third child home from the hospital after he was born, it was with joy and excitement as he was a husky, healthy ten-pound baby boy. However, by six months we knew something wasn’t right as he was still unable to hold up his head.

Many months later, we again took our son home from another hospital after extensive tests and a weeklong stay. Only this time we were in shock.

The final diagnoses was that Don had cerebral palsy of the worst magnitude (a-mi-tonic-quadriplegic was what we heard). We were instructed to have a brace designed for him as quickly as possible so he might have a chance to walk.

They didn’t give us have much hope of him having a functioning brain: in fact, they gave little hope of him able to accomplish anything.

The Health Benefits of Laughter

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Laughter is not just good for the soul – it is vital for our overall health – mental, psychological, spiritual and physical.

“The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.” Voltaire, French Philosopher

Are there really health benefits to laughter, other than it feels good in the moment? Yes there is and it is confirmed not only through scripture and sages of the past, but also from medical research. Unchecked long held stresses over time contribute to illness.

“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.” Proverbs 17:22

Laughter releases the hormones that heal our physical body and strengthens our heart and immune system. Hearty laughter exercises our heart – lowers blood pressure, gives our lungs a workout, releases tension in all parts of our body and releases opiates in our blood system giving us a high – a lift.

The Greatest Gift

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Perhaps the greatest gift that humor gives us is to be able to laugh at ourselves.

Laughter, if just for a moment, takes the edge off the seriousness of death and tragedy, expands our world view, and more than anything else allows us to let go of our inflated self-image, our bloated pride and self-importance.

Laughter clears the playing field, reduces levels of stress and gives our body the boost it needs to help fight off the effects of depression and loneliness.

When we take off the rose colored glasses, we stop embellishing or diminishing ourselves through impractical comparisons, and realize that we are all God’s creatures subject to both humor and divine intervention. When we stop taking ourselves so seriously, we are able to laugh at the flawed parts of our nature while celebrating the parts that give rise to creative energy.

It’s All in How you Look at it!

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Stress is very subjective. Perception is both the creation of stress and what we will do with it. It is both personal and unique. What stresses you out may not stress me at all.

Any life event, major or minor, can become a cause of dis-stress. It can be an on-going source of irritation and even victimization. It can also be the beginning of an off-repeated humorous story. Can we take events and turn them into something we can laugh at for decades?

Years ago in a speech I gave on stress to a group of teachers in the U.K. I shared one of the stories my father-in-law told our kids about when he was a kid. Their much loved Grandpa Bert was an easy-going guy, with seemingly not a care in the world who drove my mother-in-law crazy. As a kid he attended a small, rural school.

Now Bert was not a student of academia – in fact he hated sitting in the classroom. During recess while other kids were busy jumping rope or throwing ball, he was busy exploring the tall grass around the little country school, looking for wonderful things such as bugs, worms, caterpillars, frogs – you name it.

Gloom Busters

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

“When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. And swing!” Leo Buscaglia

When was the last time you laughed – really laughed – until the tears rolled down your cheeks, your sides hurt and you gasped for air? You laughed and laughed and didn’t want to stop.

Something tickled your funny bone so that in an instant you saw the world differently – your situation was so bad, it was funny – your problem so profound, it was laughable – the ludicrous became the comical. The world had turned upside down and you laughed as you swung in the absurdity of the moment.

“The crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow.” H. G. Wells

What precipitated that laughter? How did it change how you felt about your world, your situation, yourself? How did it change the minutes and hours afterwards?

“Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.” Mark Twain

A New Day

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Every day we have the opportunity to begin again – to start over – to write a new chapter in our life story.

We can choose to find solutions instead of dwelling on the insolvability of problems.

We can focus on all our blessings instead of all the things we think we have to have.

We can focus on love instead of hate – laughter instead of crying. We choose our focus.

Love, Laughter and Grace

Every day we are graced with a new beginning. Within each day we can purposefully look for the grace of God in our pain, make a decision to laugh in the midst of our struggles and accept God’s gift of love and then apply it throughout the day.

He is Risen

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

He is risen

and our lives are forever changed!

It is a time of celebration and rejoicing – a time of excitement and joy.

What does Easter mean to you? How has it impacted your life? What are you personally able to take away from the cross of suffering, sacrifice and death?

As with all things scripturally, it is only when we apply it personally that we are given the greatest gift of peace and joy and assurance.

Father, Forgive Them

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

“And they came to the place which is called The Skull and they crucified him, and the criminals, one on the right and one on the left.

And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.”

Luke 23:33-34

And he said, Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.

And he said to him, “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.”

Luke 23:43

“Father, into thy hands I commit my spirit!”

Luke 23:46

Forgiveness – the Key to Our Release from Prison

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

“But I say to you that hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.” Luke 6:27

Love them? Really? Pray for them?

In his book, “Forgive for Good”, Dr. Fred Luskin lists 11 definitions of what forgiveness is and 7 definitions of what forgiveness is not.

In her book, “Forgiving the Unforgivable”, Beverly Flanigan, MSSW, defines how betrayal of people we trust shatter our core beliefs and concept of right and wrong and create unforgivable injuries.

Dr. Klimes in his work on forgiveness has identified 5 steps for “Granting the Gift of Forgiveness.”

There is more and more research and researchers who have written about forgiveness as a necessary ingredient for emotional, physical and spiritual health.

Unforgiveness creates a destructive force in our lives. Within its tenets we find hatred, rage, and revenge – all corrosive and self-destructing emotional reactions to life.

Research studies show that “forgiveness leads to less stress” and fewer health problems. When we fail to forgive, that unforgiveness may be a greater risk factor for heart disease than hostility.