When the unexpected happens, suddenly and tragically, without warning, it leaves us in a state of shock and disbelief. When the shock wears off we are left with a mixture of emotions: relief, anger, pain, sorrow, anxiety and more.
Where do we go from here? Where do we begin? How can we resolve the multitude of problems that are generated? How do we take that next step?
Adversity is part of life. It can come in the form of severe health issues, divorce, or severe financial setbacks. We might lose our jobs or face serious concerns with our teens. We may be a victim of crime or severe storms that destroy our homes.
Whatever the cause, adversity will require us to stop, evaluate, accept and search for solutions.
While each situation is unique and will require specific solutions, here are some basic things to consider.
1.Stop. When anything adverse happens we will have an instant emotional reaction. Shock and denial help us survive in the moment. We may feel overwhelmed and helpless. We replay the event over and over again. Stop and take some slow deep breaths. Then put on your thoughtful analytic hat.
I’m going to be the guest on a live call-in radio show today, Thursday, May 28, 2015 at 4:30 p.m. PDT/7:30 p.m. EDT.
The show is called “The Word for Today Is… and the host is Stephanie Hill Williams.
We’ll be discussing what it means to be a counselor and life coach, and what led me to the publication of my book, A Love so Great, A Grief so Deep, and my upcoming book, From Winter to Spring, with time at the end for questions from listeners.
I hope you’ll tune in! Click the link to listen starting at 4:30: Marlene Anderson, MA LMHC, NCC-Author, Speaker, Counselor, & Life Coach
You have identified the problem, looked at it from different positions and expanded it to include all possible contributing factors. In the process, you have compared it to other problems you may have had and resolved; then proceeded to compile a list of possible solutions.
As you brainstormed and generated possibilities, fresh ideas were inserted into your list without preliminary judgment or comparisons. With inspiration exhausted, the time has now come to evaluate and prioritize.
We experience problems every day: some simple – others complex. We often confuse the emotional conflict as the problem itself. The emotional conflict is the byproduct of the problem. Step 1 – Identify the problem and define the conflict Whether the problem is how I can better my life, prepare for my financial future, or…
We are making decisions every day; most of them are small. But they all have consequences. Here is a very simplistic example: Should I get up and go to work today when I don’t feel like it? Probably yes, because I need my job and salary to pay my bills. When the outcome of our…
When adversity and hardship hit hard, questions and doubts rush to the foreground. Why? Why me? How could this happen? What did I do wrong? What will I do? We will experience a lot of emotions such as shock, anger, fear, anxiety, and even panic. As comprehension reveals the depth of the problems we face,…
As I continue with this new series on preparing for adversity, number one on the list is to make an assessment of your strengths and abilities. Why is this important? When hit with tragedies or catastrophes of any kind, our energy is used to survive – acting on instinct. When they seem to come one right after another,…
“Oh no, not again! Not another setback.” When we are hit with one setback after another, our response is similar to that above. And yet, we are constantly faced with changes we do not like throughout our lifetime. We can anticipate and be prepared for many of the minor setbacks or disappointments we encounter. We know, for example, that…
Early this year a group of writers, of which I was privileged to be a part, came together to write a Christmas Romance book, entitled “Mistletoe and Mocha”. As we progressed with our writing, we decided that each person would complete their story in a novella, under the umbrella name, “Mistletoe and Mocha”. Because of…
Can you imagine a world without blessings? I can’t. In my latest book, From Winter to Spring, I wrote: “Every day we are witness to many blessings that fall like a gentle rain or silent tumbling snowflakes. Who hasn’t felt refreshed by a cooling summer shower or been touched by the quiet serenity of an…
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