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Posts Categorized: Threads of Life

Finding Humor in Our Grief and Loss

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Finding Humor in Our Grief and Loss

When I was healing from the losses of my husband and then my son, I was writing and working with others on similar journeys.

As I read, studied, and took additional training about healing from loss as a therapist, a book written by Linda Richman captured my attention. We seldom think of humor as important when grieving, but it not only is relevant and but can be instrumental in our healing process.

In her book, “I’d Rather Laugh: How to Be Happy Even When Life Has Other Plans for You,” Linda Richman tells her story of pain from the losses in her life, culminating in the loss of her young son and working through that tragedy with humor.

Day’s Dawning: Whispers from God

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Day’s Dawning – Whispers from God | focuswithmarlene.com

The day sneaks up, rousing me from deep sleep. The urging of another day has not yet crowded out the deep internal musings that rise to the surface while I’m still half asleep.

A new day dawning. I enjoy the leisure of this time, allowing my mind to consider the streaming of creative ideas, solutions, and unanswered questions. I didn’t formulate them – they just arrived, and I simply received.

How often we hurry from such moments and step into the fast lane of life. For, we reason, doesn’t life demand that we don’t dawdle? If we stopped and considered options all the time, we would never get anything done. We would constantly be questioning every motive or changing directions.

Turn Your Gravel Pit Into a Beautiful Garden

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Turn Your Gravel Pit into A Beautiful Garden | focuswithmarlene.com

Can something ugly and scarred be turned into something beautiful and inviting? Let me share with you a true story about a real gravel pit.

A gravel pit is a piece of land where bulldozers and huge earth-scooping machinery have removed the soil to extract gravel and other ingredients needed to build roads, make cement, gather building rocks, etc.

What remains, after all the extractions, is a huge scarred and pitted hole in the ground with unstable and crumbling sides, water seepage from underground springs, stagnant pools of rainwater, huge, discarded pieces of rock and other un-usable mounds of earth. Debris is scattered everywhere, discarded by individuals who consider this a worthless piece of land; a place to throw away their pop cans, beer bottles or candy wrappers.

God’s Love Streaming In

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

God’s Love Streaming In | focuswithmarlene.com

When working through a loss to a new beginning, we experience ups and downs of emotions and thoughts. At times we might feel like a yo-yo, up one minute, down the next. It is an interval when we not only are working through recovery but taking stock of our life – what was important and what was not.

In my book, Learning to Live Again in a New World – available in hard copy, e-book, or audio book – I share strategies and methods to offset those difficult moments. It is a book full of suggestions to make your journey smoother and more complete.

Hope that Sustains

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Hope that Sustains | focuswithmarlene.com

Hope! It is a gift I cannot refuse.

Belief. It is the assumption that God catches us when reality doesn’t match our expectations and we begin to fall.

We may not be aware of being caught and held safely because the terror of falling is too great. But regardless of how we feel, God is there, like the parachute keeping a skydiver from plummeting to earth.

A skydiver has learned to turn fear of falling into a heady joy of floating before opening the chute. When reality has dashed my dreams, I need to turn my fear of falling into floating with the parachute ready to open and set me safely down on the ground when the time is right.

Grab Hold, Let Go, and Swing!

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Grab Hold, Let Go, and Swing! | focuswithmarlene.com

When faced with life-altering situations, we struggle not only to grasp the totality of what we are facing, but to plan a way forward. Consider the options my son and us faced years ago. His physical limitations never deterred him. And he lived life never even considering he couldn’t make it and took his talents and built a successful career.

Don was born without the muscles to hold up his head. Muscle weakness extended to other areas of his back and neck. A special brace was designed for him, with a rod that went down the back, anchored with straps around his waist and a pre-formed support for his head.

One might assume he was a prisoner to his physical disabilities. But he never saw it that way and neither did we.

Adversity a Blessing? You’ve Got to be Kidding!  

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Adversity a Blessing? You’ve Got to be Kidding! | Focuswithmarlene.com

Life is full of challenges and sometimes it seems like we are going from one hardship to another with little time to recover between.

But what if we looked at adversity in a different way?

Would we see something of value for us going through hardships and difficult times? Here is a piece I wrote in 2014 about what I learned from adversity.

Adversity a blessing? You’ve got to be kidding!

Who would even consider such a thing? Who wants difficulties? And how can misfortunes or hard times ever be considered a blessing?

Stories Tell It All

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Stories Tell It All | focuswithmarlene.com

Years ago, I was asked to give a speech to a group of teachers in the U.K. In that speech, I shared some of the stories my father-in-law used to tell my kids about when he was a kid.

Their much-loved Grandpa Bert was an easy-going guy, with seemingly not a care in the world, who drove my mother-in-law crazy. Here is one of his stories.

Bert attended a small, rural school. He was not a student of academia – in fact, he hated sitting in the classroom. During recess while other kids were busy jumping rope or throwing ball, he was busy exploring the tall grass around this little country school, looking for wonderful things such as worms, caterpillars, bugs, frogs, etc.

Venturing into the Unknown

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Venturing into the Unknown | focuswithmarlene.com

The plaintive sound of a foghorn filtered through the grey morning mist as our sailboat pushed away from the protective harbor of Victoria, BC and slipped silently into the Strait of Juan de Fuca. The stillness of the morning was broken only by the low constant chug, chug of our diesel engine and the caw of a lonely seagull taking flight overhead.

The shoreline and our boat were soon swallowed by a grey, colorless matter silently and swiftly moving over the water. Although it had no shape or body, it was as unyielding and impenetrable as any brick wall.

One moment we saw the sky and receding shoreline; the next minute every point of reference was gone.

Whatever You Focus On, You Will Become

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Whatever You Focus on, You Will Become | focuswithmarlene.com

As I begin this Threads of Life series, I would like to give some background on why FOCUS is so important and why it is the name I chose for my company, my motto, and my website.

When my husband and I took early retirement from teaching in Oregon, we moved to northern Washington to build our dream home and spend time sailing in the San Juan Islands.

My husband joined a group of talented musicians who played in a local rehearsal band and I returned to teaching part time at Chapman University Extension Center. However, long evening class hours prompted me to leave the formal classroom for good and start giving workshops and classes in ADHD parenting, pain management, stress management and communication.