Losses of any kind involve change and will challenge who we are.
I used to be a wife, husband, parent, and executive; a healthy and active person.
I used to have a full time job. I used to know where I was going and what I wanted to do. I had well prepared goals and plans of action.
I had an organized and predictable life. I made adjustments and solved problems. I had an answer for everything. But now, this drastic turn of events has left me wondering if I knew myself at all.
Who am I?
Change threatens the image we hold of ourselves. When life is on auto pilot, we are busy following the set of plans we have put in motion. But unwanted change disrupts our patterns and throws us off balance.
Unwanted change gives us the opportunity to examine those parts of ourselves we would rather keep secret even from ourselves. It is easier to deny the things we don’t like about ourselves rather than acknowledge and purposefully make the changes that will enable us to become more genuine.
It requires a deeper honesty and evaluation of who we are, what we believe in, what we value and why. Knowing yourself is an important requirement for taking responsibility for your life and the choices you make.
So take an honest evaluation:
1. What things in my life am I ashamed of and don’t like about myself? What new choices can I make to bring about positive changes?
2. What things in my life am I proud of? Can I honestly acknowledge the good choices I have made, the things I have accomplished?
3. What new thing am I learning about myself I wouldn’t have learned any other way? Can I accept that, build on that, or make a choice to improve on that?
4. What good can I take away from this tragedy or unwanted change?
Losses and earth shattering turn of events can seem like the end of the world. Yet within the broken pieces of life we find the seeds for a new more meaningful life.
©2013 Marlene Anderson