When events in life strip everything away that represents safety, stability, comfort and satisfaction, we face a reality full of doubts and anxiety that we do not want.
With fear and trepidation we ask God, now what do I do? What is the next step I need to take? Deep down, we know we can’t just return to what had been. And we find ourselves at a pivotal point.
We will experience many adversities throughout our lifetime. Some will be minor – others will require survival strategies such as how do I keep a roof over my head and food on the table. Others will be serious and critical, but we will have a little time to work on them.
Where do I begin?
The first step is acceptance. Give yourself permission to grieve your loss, but then make a deliberate conscious decision to accept the fact that you have stepped into a new reality. It is a scary place and we don’t know what to expect. Fear can become an overwhelming force if we allow it. If our focus remains on fear, it will rob us of our creative ability to find solutions.
Here are some suggestions to meet any adversity:
• Accept the fact that this is now a new reality
• Give yourself permission to grieve your loss
• Resist the impulse to allow fear to take over
• Put on your “ I Can Do it” hat – this is a mindset – an attitude
• Focus on all the successes in your past when you were faced with challenges – make a list and read it every day
• Refuse to listen to old messages from the past that says you are not good enough, smart enough, etc.
• Make a list of all your strengths – don’t minimize them or exclude any even if you think they may be unimportant – read it every day
• Acknowledge perceived faults, foibles, insecurities, fears, anxieties, etc. as being human. I can be okay with both my weaknesses and my strengths.
• Resist getting caught up in the blame game – it will keep you from finding solutions
• Make a list of all your options – brainstorm with a friend
• Prioritize your list, pick one and explore ways to implement this into a plan of action.
• Try it. If it doesn’t work, try another.
• Refuse to give up. It is precisely when we are tired, feel overwhelmed or feel like giving up when we turn a corner. Don’t let mistakes discourage you – use them as teaching moments
We discover what is really meaningful in life when challenged with adversities. It is where we discover God waiting to pick us up, dust us off, and set us on our feet again. It is where we discover hope and faith and strength to take the next step. It is where we discover many unexpected blessings.
Marlene Anderson