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Real Friends

IMG_2568Last month I spent a wonderful week at the Mt. Herman Writer’s Conference.

Although overwhelming at times with all the information, convening with agents, editors and mentors, and attending classes and meeting so many wonderful new people, it was an exhilarating and exciting time.

One of the places available to us within this large conference center, was a little store filled with books, trinkets and items to take back with us in remembrance of this experience. And we were given time between scheduled events to explore the variety of places at the center.

I love to collect cups that hold a special meaning to a place I have visited. My eye was drawn to a beautiful cup in soft yellow hues with pastel purples, waving strands of heather and flitting butterflies.


IMG_2374But what I especially appreciated was the words imprinted on the side:

Real friends listen with their hearts


As I contemplated this week’s blog on friendships and relationships, I thought about what these words meant.  What would be different if we just listened with our hearts and not our minds?


IMG_2370We want friends who will understand our cries of loneliness, heartbreak, doubts and anxieties. We want to be heard without judgment.

Friends can let us know that someone cares beyond the external trivial matter. We want to share our hearts and be heard from that perspective.

“I would rather walk with a friend in the dark,

then walk alone in the light.”

Helen Keller


A friend accepts our point of view even when it differs from their own.  They strive to see things from our perspective as well as their own.




When we have suffered a loss, we are wounded and vulnerable.  A friend can walk beside us while we heal.  They are dependable and trustworthy and the relationship is more important than simply sharing thoughts and stories.


Listening with the heart accepts that vulnerable side of us while the mind simply computes words.


The heart identifies and validates and shares. Listening with our hearts tells another we do understand and we do care even if we can’t fix the problems we share.



Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together


I hope that I can be that good friend to another.

Marlene Anderson


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