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Posts Tagged: forgiveness

Forgiveness: Release from the Prison of Resentment

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

prison bars

“But I say to you that hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.”
—Luke 6:27

Really – pray for them?

Jesus said, forgive seventy times seven (Matthew 18:22). We take it as a moral imperative. But it isn’t just Jesus who tells us how important forgiveness is, science confirms it as well. In fact, not to forgive is putting a slow death sentence on yourself, as the theologian Frederick Buechner so aptly describes.

In this article and podcast episode, I’ll show you 7 ways to make forgiveness a gift, rather than an obligation.

Living Life to the Fullest

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

woman praying on knees

In the quiet of a cave, God spoke to Elijah; in the stillness of the night, He came to Samuel.

It is in those quiet moments when God expands our awareness to live life to its fullest. But what does it mean to live life to its fullest?

Living life is a journey. It is the time we have at our disposal every day. It is the clouds and grey skies as well as the moments of sunshine, beauty, and harmony. Every day we meld it all together for good.

It’s waging war while searching for peace.

“What If?”…Questions I Ask

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

"What If?... Questions I Ask

What if

We stopped trying to live the perfect life.

Would we become real?

What if

We stopped pretending we had it all together.

Would we fall apart, or would we finally recognize our need for help?

What if

We saw the Ten Commandments as a gift from a loving Father trying to teach us how to live non-destructive lives.

Would we use more of them?

The Cost of Resentment: Becoming a Victim

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

woman looking resentful with man in background

When we have suffered injustices, especially in our personal relationships, it is hard to let go and forgive. We struggle with our desire to get retribution or justice versus letting go. Retribution or payback seems so necessary.

Therapists often hear about egregious events that people have endured. Some started early in their childhood. Unprocessed, they keep injecting themselves into our lives and color our attempts at happiness.

In this article, I share one more story from a therapy session that might help you understand the cost of hanging onto resentment.

7 ways to Make Forgiveness a Gift, Rather Than an Obligation

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

7 ways we can make forgiveness a gift rather than an obligation

Jesus said, “Forgive seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:22). We take it as a moral imperative.

But it isn’t just Jesus who tells us how important forgiveness is; science confirms it as well. In fact, not to forgive is putting a slow death sentence on ourselves,as the theologian Frederick Buechner so aptly describes.

Most of us deal with the sins and transgressions of others in the moment. We get mad, pull away, and then make up and go on. When we are the transgressors, we do the same. With minor goofs and slip-ups, we feel bad in the moment, apologize, and then continue with life.

The Unwanted Package: An Allegory

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

young woman carrying heavy bag and walking on path

Once upon a time, a package was delivered to a young woman. When she opened it, her eyes blazed, and she became very angry.

Although infuriated over receiving this parcel, she nonetheless took it with her wherever she went. Soon other packages arrived, and she had to get a larger bag to put them in so she could continue to carry them with her.

Every morning, she dutifully picked up her bag, which was growing heavier and heavier. She took it with her on the bus to work and when she met with the girls for coffee or a glass of wine.

It went with her to family gatherings and remained on her back as she fixed meals and adjusted her load to make the beds and do the laundry.

Forgiveness: A Gift We Give Ourselves

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

7 ways we can make forgiveness a gift rather than an obligation

As we approach Easter in a few days, we are reminded that Jesus gave the ultimate sacrifice for our sins by dying on the cross, offering forgiveness and grace.

Jesus said forgive seventy times seven (Matthew 18:22). We take it as a moral imperative. But it isn’t just Jesus who tells us how important forgiveness is; science confirms it as well. In fact, not to forgive is putting a slow death sentence on ourselves, as the theologian, Frederick Buechner, so aptly describes.

Most of us deal with the sins and transgressions of others in the moment. We get mad, pull away, and then make up and go on. When we are the transgressors, we do the same. With minor goofs and slip-ups, we feel bad in the moment, apologize and then move on.