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Posts Tagged: healthy relationships

Discerning Hidden Agendas in Relationships

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Like any skill we gain competence in, communication needs to be practiced. But like any habit we put in place, it is easy to get discouraged and go back to old ways of doing things.

Too often we come to our conversations with a hidden agenda – a motive that isn’t always clear to us.

We don’t come to resolve problems, but to convince the other person they need to change.

We want the other person to see and hear and accept our point of view – we don’t really want to hear theirs. We want to be understood and accepted just as we are.

Today on my blog and podcast, we’ll discuss our motives in communication, and actions we can put in place to nurture thriving relationships.

Purposeful Conversation

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

As I sat with my friend, having dinner, I was struck by how many couples were sitting opposite each other, engrossed in their cell phones, with only an occasional comment to their partner. Or they were simply sitting quietly, looking out the window or watching the activity in the restaurant, each deep in their own thoughts, with emptiness reflected on their faces.

Where was the active engagement in conversation? Where was the listening, gesturing, offering points of view, and laughing?

Today on my blog and podcast, we’ll discuss the ways in which purposeful conversations are essential to healthy relationships.

Those Early Relationships

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

We learn about relationships in our family of origin.

Our view of self, others and the world are shaped there. Family dynamics are very powerful. Patterns of behaviors are repeated from generation to generation.

How we deal with differences within our family of origin can have a major impact on how we relate today.

As we you grow up, you go through predictable, developmental stages with certain tasks associated with them. None of us complete these tasks without some problems.

Continue reading to learn how we discover ourselves through both negative and positive relational experiences.

Relationships: Who Needs Them?

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

Relationships: Who Needs Them? | focuswithmarlene.com

 We enter relationships because we need people. We need what a relationship can bring, such as social activity and interactions, but we aren’t always ready to work on making that relationship valuable and meaningful.

We want to be loved and accepted for who we are in spite of our shortcomings. We want to be heard and understood.

Moving in and out of relationships is not very satisfying over the long term. So, understanding what we bring to our relationships and how we communicate with one another is important.

Perhaps you have experienced misplaced loyalty, broken commitments, and trampled expectations from those you considered friends, colleagues or spouses. If you have been hurt in relationships, you may ask: Relationships – who needs them? Wouldn’t I be happier staying out of any serious relationships?