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Posts Tagged: perception check

How our Perceptions of the World Work For or Against Us

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

How do you see the world?

How does your perception differ from others you know, including your family?

Why does it matter?

Those differences become obvious as we talk, act, and live our lives. It also influences the observations we make and the insights we get, and how we use them.

Perceptions are the personal assessments we make about the world, and they begin to form early in life, becoming more specific as we age. They influence all our relationships and how we communicate and interact with others.

“That’s Not What I Meant”: 11 Pointers to Promote Good Listening

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

“But you said…”

“No, I didn’t…”

“Yes, I heard you say…”

“Well, that’s not what I meant!”

And so, it goes – round and round and round, until we end up with two angry people who continue to find ways to attack, defend, and destroy each other.

You were sure you said what you believed would be easily understood. And yet, that is not what the other person heard. Anger is intensified, and you dig in your heels and refuse to budge.

How did we get into this conflict in the first place? And how do we get out of it?

Today on my blog and podcast, I’ll share 11 pointers to help you improve your listening skills.

12 Ways to Promote Good Communication

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

12 Ways to Promote Good Communication | focuswithmarlene.com

Communication is a skill that is learned and developed over time. When we recognize what isn’t working, we can replace it with something that will work.

We communicate all the time. We cannot not communicate. With our facial gestures, postures, words, or attempts to change the other person, we need to know how to become the type of communicator who respects ourselves and others.

Knowing yourself is vital in becoming a good communicator.

You need to know what triggers your stress buttons or emotional upsets, your fears of being hurt or looking stupid. Finding ways of dealing with adversity are often hidden from you until you are willing to accept yourself unconditionally, with both the good and the bad. When you feel okay to face your vulnerabilities you are taking charge of your interactions and your life, and that is reflected in your conversations.

That’s Not What I Meant: 6 Tips to Improve Your Communication

Posted by Marlene Anderson, MA, LMHC, NCC

That’s Not What I Meant | focuswithmarlene.com

“But you said. . . ”
“No, I didn’t. . . ”
“Yes, I heard you say. . . ”
“Well, that’s not what I meant!”

And so, it goes – round and round and round and we end up with two angry people who continue to find ways to attack, defend and destroy each other.

Anger builds as each continues to dig in their heels and insist they are right, and the other is wrong. You probably have had such conversations or have witnessed them. Discussions at this point soon move into the blame game:

“You always try to pin the blame on me. If you were here instead of out golfing, this wouldn’t have happened.”
“Oh, and how about you – out shopping again.”

The conversation has gone beyond misunderstanding and name calling.