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Posts Tagged: stress

Understanding the Benefits of Stress

Properly channeled, stress enables us to live happy, energetic, productive lives. It enables us to meet dangers and defend ourselves.

We live in stressful times, constantly bombarded with change and the need to go faster and faster while still maintaining a high level of productivity. As more and more demands are put on us, worry and anxiety become the norm.

But along with unexpected tragedies, adversities, losses, and unwanted changes, we can enjoy times of incredible joy and happiness. We can make stress work for us. Click to learn how to make stress work for you.

How to Make Stress Work for You

Make Stress Work For You by Marlene Anderson | focuswithmarlene.com

If you find yourself struggling to get out of bed in the morning, anxious about the day awaiting you, you are not alone. We are living in a time of great uncertainty, which causes stress levels to escalate.

Anxiety and fear take center stage, and we struggle to find ways to make life normal again. Often the symptoms are so devastating, it becomes harder and harder to identify the underlying problems.

When our ability to think is compromised, our ability to find resolutions is compromised.

When we try to cope without identifying the underlying core issues, we end up going round and round in circles. Stress levels not only continue to escalate but remain high day after day.

Five Easy Ways to Express Anger Effectively

Five Easy Ways to Express Anger Effectively | focuswithmarlene.com

Like summer wildfires, the results of anger unleashed and unchecked by logic or reason can leave behind destroyed relationships and ruined lives. Left unrestrained, our lives can become tinder boxes ready to explode with just a spark of irritation.

Anger, like fear, is a great stressor when it becomes the norm for dealing with life’s problems.

As therapists, we see the effects of growing up in homes where anger is out of control. The wounds and scars run deep. Unless recognized, addressed, and changed, the patterns of behavior repeat themselves from one generation to another.

Revenge: The Sweet, Sour and Bitter

Revenge: The Sweet, Sour and Bitter | Focuswithmarlene.com

“How dare she!”

“That was mean!”

“That’s it – it’s over.”

“How could he do that to me?”

Someone has wronged us or betrayed us. Anger rises. It simmers in our thoughts as we contemplate our revenge: “Just wait; I’ll get even with you.”

And we repeat to ourselves over and over the injustice of the situation, of how we were treated and why we didn’t deserve it.

What felt like a kick in the stomach the first time is repeatedly replayed as we continue to stoke the flames of anger, hurt, and betrayal until we have a raging furnace inside of us – our  stomach churning into hard knots, chilling our bones.

Acceptance Reduces Conflict

Acceptance Reduces Conflict | focuswithmarlene.com

Acceptance is a concept – a state of mind – a way of looking at life and problems. It is a way of thinking that can be applied to any circumstance. It is a pivotal point that takes us from what we can’t do to possibilities, options and choices.

Problems have a magnetic way of holding us in place. Like an insect caught on fly paper, we get stuck in the mess of it all and can’t see a way out.

Acceptance takes us out of the victim role and puts us in the administrator role.

It keeps us from playing the blame game where everything – from circumstances to people, parents, siblings, religion, God, whatever – are blamed for our inability to do anything.

Acceptance puts us in control of our responses regardless of what life throws at us.

Stress Reducer: Acceptance

Stress Reducer: Acceptance | Focuswithmarlene.com

Acceptance is a necessary step in helping us recover from losses.

When we accept our circumstances, their formidable impact on our life is reduced while helping us find ways to reconcile and heal.

In many ways, we are addressing stressful events every day. We acknowledge, accept, look for options and work to find solutions instead of allowing them to create ongoing turmoil. Because acceptance is such an important concept, I want to expand on how it can help us lower stress levels in our daily lives.

We are currently living in uncommon stressful times: the pandemic, inability to go back to work; wondering whether our kids can go back to school, whether we will have enough money to pay our bills or if life will ever return to normal. Add to that the emotional stress that is generated as we try to communicate and work together to solve the escalating problems we face.