Part of the challenge of confronting adversity, unwanted change and tragedies is coming to terms with what has happened.
Losses mean we have left something of importance behind. Life will not be the same even if we construct a similar environment. It is gone. We are left with the remains of what was and need to move on. Unless we grieve those losses, however, they can continue to rob us of energy, stifle creativity and obscure new choices.
Ungrieved losses can leave us stuck in the past.
As therapists, we help clients challenge irrational thoughts, distorted perceptions and destructive behaviors and replace them with more constructive ones.
In the process, we confront self-defeating attitudes and mindsets, reframe circumstances and take charge of our lives.
We do not have to be held captive to our fears, anxiety, anger and depression or slaves to outdated resentments.
When we understand how and why certain behaviors and responses have been put in place, we are able to choose alternative, more constructive, self-affirming ones. It is in that process that we uncover old wounds and childhood traumas that need to be grieved.
Ungrieved losses will continue to have a negative impact in our lives.
This summer I am devoting my time to writing a book proposal for a new manuscript I have written, From Winter to Spring, that takes you through the process of grieving, from those early stages of acute response to a period of transition where we put the past to rest, ask who we are today and begin to create a new reality.
My blogs will reflect that grief and integration process. Understanding helps define what is happening to us. That understanding can be turned into positive responses of healing and recovery.
We will explore what it means to grieve, why we need to grieve and what happens when we don’t; and how our losses can affect every aspect of our life – from our relationships, marriages, parenting, and careers as well as having a negative impact on our mental and physical health.
©2013 Marlene Anderson