“Make insight your priority. . . Tune your ears to the world of Wisdom; set your heart on a life of Understanding. . . if you make insight your priority, and won’t take no for an answer. . . God gives out wisdom free.” Proverbs 2
What is in your gravel pit?
Last week we reflected on who we believe we are. Now we will take a look at what is happening in your life right now. Changes cannot be made until we are aware of what is working and what isn’t working and why.
Step 2 – Exploring your gravel pit
Within our gravel pits we will find many things of no value and things that hinder us and keep us from taking more purposeful steps.
Within the rocks and deep pits we can also find the potential for something of value and promise.
Be honest in your exploration. Take ownership. You can’t run away from mistakes or bad choices. Neither can we run away from the harm others may have inflicted on you. There are no quick fixes. Acceptance of where we are is the precursor of making new choices. If we get stuck in anger, hatred, retribution or refusing to let go of what had been, we will be unable to move forward.
Each person’s gravel pit will be different. What life has handed us will require different ways to create peace, hope, and contentment and the motivation to move forward.
In your journal titled, My Beautiful Garden, start a new page and Put at the top, Exploring my Gravel Pit. Put in this section all the things that trip you up and keep you from achieving your potential.
Go over the following questions and put together a list of things you want to consider.
- What losses, hurts or tragedies have scarred your life’s landscape? Perhaps it was a tough childhood, ongoing unresolved family issues, or a deep wounding to your spirit and sense of self.
2. What things from your past continue to create obstacles in your life today? Example: resentment, anger from your childhood, lack of nurturing and care growing up.
We are not our past, nor our pain. Things may have happened to us, but they do not define us unless we allow them.
3. What things from your past are you running away from, resisting, denying, or ignoring? We don’t like to deal with pain, but the only way out of pain is honest acceptance of what has happened and what is happening. What labels, negative self talk or childhood criticisms do you continue to use?
While we need to accept our past, we do not need to accept what was harmful or damaging to our self worth.
4. What do you need in order to accept? For example: if you continue to hold resentment it will continue to cloud everything you see. It limits you from exploring new ways of doing things and feeling differently about yourself and your potential. Is forgiveness an option? Remember, forgiveness is for you.
5. What current situations are you simply putting band-aids on the problem? Identify your current quick fixes: alcohol, drugs, pain pills, sex, porn, TV, food, etc. Quick fixes are like band aids. They may stop the bleeding for a short while and cover up a wound. But it doesn’t resolve anything. Band aids only last for a short time and constantly need more and more replacements until we have addressed the problem.
When we look honestly at our problems, we can find ways to make things work for us instead of against us.
6. How would you identify your personal stumbling blocks? For example, not following through, listening to your internal critic, difficulty communicating, not trusting your own judgment or believing in yourself, difficulty making decisions, etc.
7. What is your personal belief about what you can and cannot do? Why do you believe this? What keeps you from believing that you can make a difference, you can turn your life into something more positive, pleasant and rewarding?
This is just a quick preview of how you currently see your life. What we are looking for are those things that continue to cloud the future, keeps you stressed and feeling stuck. You want to identify whatever is happening that continues to keep you stuck and in an on-going struggle. Until you aware you will not be able to make corrections.
Before we can create a design, it is necessary to be honest in our evaluation of what we are working with, what is currently happening and how you are dealing with it.
This is not to discourage you. Instead, if we can accept both the positive and negatives of who we are and how we are currently engaging with life, these things can’t sneak up and sabotage our efforts to create a new design for life.
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