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I wrote this piece when I was making a transition from loss to a new beginning. You may be experiencing a similar time in your life.
“. . . but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.”
I’m tired – physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Grieving is harder than I could have imagined. Is there some magic formula that will make this journey easier?
I’m tired of wandering the dark canyons and dry deserts of my soul.
I’m tired of wondering when I will be able to leave.
There are days when the journey seems endless, and I struggle to find my way into a new life.
How do I preserve what I had while letting go of what was?
The memory of our love is still fresh in my mind, and I do not want to let go of what we shared.
Many times, I have watched eagles from my deck, their powerful outstretched wings riding the thermal air currents, soaring upward until they were mere specks in the sky. How incredible it would be to be an eagle – serenely floating above my world and circumstances. But I can’t soar if I hang on to what I had. I can’t soar unless I let go.
Let go and soar.
They say eagles mate for life; so did my husband and I. Like the pairs of eagles around my home, we worked and played together. Now, I need to fly alone. To get through this sorrow, I need to believe my grief will end.
“In order to fly you have to let go of your fear and freefall, spreading your arms to catch the wind.”
It was something I had written in my journals months earlier as I was coming to terms with death, hoping for a reprieve.
Hope seemed like a two-edged sword cutting me to pieces. Yet without hope there is no purpose – no reason to believe in a future.
“In order to fly, you must have hope. Hope can energize. Hope is the wings that will let me fly.”
I re-claim those words today.
I close my eyes and become an eagle.
As I let go of the branches of past security and comfort, I feel my wings spreading, catching the invisible air currents of God’s thermals. Rising higher and higher, I feel the ache in my heart and spirit melt away.
My mind focuses on the promises of God, confident that He will never leave me as I am shown a way beyond this and all situations.
When I need to fly, He will strengthen my wings.
When I need to think, He will sharpen my mind and eyesight to see new possibilities.
And He will always provide the thermal updrafts enabling me to soar high above any circumstance. I can let go and soar with the wings of an eagle, catching God’s thermals on the way up.
I allow myself to float on the security of God’s trust.