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Struggles Require Grace and Time

j0438317It takes time to process information. As fast as we can access information anytime and anywhere, it still takes time to apply and integrate knowledge into our daily lives. It takes even longer to use newfound clarity to heal old wounds.

As we wrestle with those dark nights of questioning and confusion and misunderstanding, it is important to give ourselves time and grace to work through the tangles of doubts, uncertainty, skepticism and misgivings.

Unwanted and life altering changes challenge our beliefs and values. In those moments when the world seems upside down and inside out, we are faced with more than just acceptance, letting go and creating a new mindset. We come face to face with our vulnerabilities and shortcomings and we are no longer sure what we believe, what is real or what is truth.

Unanswered questions from the past now take center stage demanding answers.

This can be an unsettling time. Remind yourself that you are working towards clarification, deeper understanding and reconciliation.

Core beliefs and values are usually haphazardly adopted in childhood and often remain unchallenged.

Core beliefs are often rigid, self defeating and unquestioned and define values we have not affirmed as our own. We act on them without thinking. We leave home with a bagful of life scripts, expectations and assumptions and values that we have not taken time to examine.

And now in the darkness of our soul and spirit we are left with the question: what do I really believe and why?

Questioning and exploration doesn’t mean we automatically throw out the beliefs and values we brought with us into adulthood. It just means we have reached a point where examination and evaluation is necessary to take charge of our lives and establish affirming principles to live by.

Struggling with unsettling questions can be both illuminating and frightening.

It may force us to examine past choices.

It may require going through painful memories of an unpleasant childhood.

Our struggles may reveal that we really have no idea what is valuable and important to us in life and that we have been living on borrowed concepts from a culture that changes as quickly as the tides.

Whatever we are wrestling with, include God in the struggle. Even if you are questioning God, don’t leave Him out of the struggle. It is where we are able to face painful truths. It is where we receive grace, love, acceptance, assurances and peace. We not only find clarification but are given the strength and courage to make the changes that are necessary.

What do you believe and why? We don’t have to wait for the darkness of night to begin answering important questions about the values you want to live.

©2013 Marlene Anderson

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