Listen to this episode of the Focus with Marlene Podcast:
Get caught up with all episodes in the Developing a New Focus series.
This is part 2 of my series, “Focus on Building Confidence.”
Part 1: Focus on What You Can Do, Instead of What You Can’t
At the top of my website, you will find this statement:
Your focus defines who you are and who you can become.
FOCUS…
- On God — let Him lead
- On what you can do — not what you can’t
- On choices and possibilities
- On solutions — not problems
- On principles and values — live them
Whatever challenge you face, you can have a life full of meaning, purpose, and joy.
As a licensed mental health counselor, psychology teacher, and a Christian, I know that what we focus on matters more than we think.
Our FOCUS impacts every aspect of our life.
FOCUS is what we pay attention to or dwell on.
For example, if we don’t focus on the road when we are driving, we will end up in the ditch or will hit another car.
If we don’t focus on where our kids are playing, they could easily put themselves in danger.
However, we often fail to consider the effect of constantly focusing on our resentments or on how angry we are with someone who did us harm or wronged us.
Over time, that resentment creates a grievance story that we repeat over and over. Joy and happiness are blocked.
Focusing on our losses without moving beyond them to create a new beginning will leave us feeling life is over. Thoughtless, mindless rambling about everything that goes wrong can keep us from focusing on how we can improve our lives.
(For more on this, see my book, Learning to Live Again in a New World, available on Amazon)
We need to stop and think about the positive things that are happening – the blessings we miss because we are so focused on everything that is going wrong. We need to engage life with a purpose: to find solutions, evaluate our beliefs and values so we can live them, and develop positive and lasting relationships as we celebrate our blessings.
There is no magic formula. It is simply becoming more aware of what your mind is constantly attending to.
- Do you focus more on things that could go wrong or are going wrong without spending equal time looking for and celebrating what is going right?
- Do you focus on how bad the problem is, or do you focus on finding solutions?
Coming this year on my blog and podcast
Throughout the year, my blog and podcast will offer suggestions to help you improve your life and accomplish your goals. Each month, I will focus on one of the following topics:
- Focus on what is most important to you and live it.
- Focus on gaining a more positive self-evaluation of your worth, skills, and abilities.
- Focus on your responses to life – are they helping or hurting you?
- Focus on solving problems, not on the symptoms that tell you that you have a problem.
- Focus on building good, reliable relationships – become a good friend.
- Focus on setting boundaries and on becoming comfortable saying “no.”
- Focus on building and improving your skills and abilities.
- Focus on your spiritual life – do you know what you believe and why?
- Focus on setting realistic and achievable goals – starting small and building from there.
- Focus on where you want to go next with your life. And remember to include time for rest and relaxation, so you don’t get burned out.
We are the only ones who can determine whether what we constantly focus on is hurting or helping us.